Warning: Some open criticism to me and the world ahead
I took a little pause of writing on text.eapl.mx and posting it on Antenna.
I was writing on chats, midnight.pub, and some other spaces, so my need to share ideas was fulfilled there.
I'm having a bittersweet feeling on the content I see in Antenna and Mastodon recently. I've said before it's my preferred agregator on Gemini.
I'd watched you can block some context (that's OK and maybe needed), that Antenna is being removed from Oppen directory, and lastly that Ariane is going to dissappear due to criticism. (A lot is happening backstage)
This week we are talking about normies, and closed clubs with not that many people.
That 'triggers' me emotions of college and rejection. I was studying a career not related with Computer Science, so I wasn't allowed to join their clubs. Maybe I had more knowledge than them (no idea, just more interest and time working with computers) but not having a credential to be in.
Also I wasn't really interested in the career I studied, for me was more art and creativity, with the excuse of technology.
Sure, I was really young and naive. That doesn't matter by now. I don't care about permissions and credentials today. I know I'm an outsider and foreigner.
It's a weird feeling, I don't fit in my country or my city, I don't fit in other countries and other cities. I'm not an artist and I'm kind of an engineer.
We love to classify people with tags, although I've discovered there are not enough tags for every person.
So I have a bias on rejecting different people, people who know less, who think differently.
I'm trying to avoid them. I know the social media automatically blocks content to match your interests. I don't want to have that here. I want to learn new stuff and receive different opinions. Old and new, those matching my interest and others different.
I want to feel well when I'm consuming and creating content. But also I want to feel challenged.
I'm going to oversimplify again. When something is open, it's also open to criticism.
Even works of love would receive hate (I hope there is more love than hate in return). Deserved and not deserved. Valid and not that valid.
I think it's the nature of many things, although we expect to not receive that natural human behavior of destruction, entropy and negativity.
We want happy and safe places where we don't feel attacked by lies or by truths. I get it.
I wrote a lot of ideas about creating a new post to reply on some other ideas, but I deleted a long post. I don't feel a need to explain a lot.
I like having a deep discussion on topics not fitting in a comment or 480 characters.
It's not a forum, perhaps. Although posting it under your capsule/blog/space has a different meaning that posting on a thread of a forum, IMO.
For me is taking a seed idea, and getting into our personal perspective. It has been nurturing for a conversation, not a single sided speech.
Life is a weird thing to me. You can't be extremely positive because you get toxic and false, you stop fighting for improvements.
Then if you go to the extreme of complaining and seeing everything wrong, you stop fighting for improvement again. We are hopeless if we think there is not some next action to take. If we stop thinking, acting, moving forward (or backwards, but to some expected place)
So, I think the space of hope is when things are good enough but could be better. And also that gives us a lot of uncertainty. How much is enough?
I like to fight, but then I get tired of fighting. I need some rest, hope, purpose. Then trying to do it with other humans, at the same time is a long series of conversations and actions. Wishing for the best, working for it, to become the best version of ourselves. Or maybe not.
Living is interesting, I had to add.
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EOT
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text.eapl.mx.mebiu [at] slmail.me
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